let's conspire to re-ignite

I...haven't written a song that I've been this proud of in eons. But...you know what? This song reminds me why I love writing so much.

( Come Home )

Not that he's gone anywhere, but...yeah. A lot has happened. I've had my family threatened already, but won the battle to keep them, I've been called a home wrecker and a slut by about five different tabloids, I quit LSG Records, my Bernie won the Calder Cup, all in all it's been an eventful past couple weeks, but I wouldn't trade it. For once, I'm happy. And I don't feel like the things that made me happy are going to go away anytime soon.

Family is an unnecessary evil until you actually have one worth mentioning.

I know it's random, and doesn't make a whole lot of sense to anyone but me, but really, isn't everything I say like that? Just a random observation that came to me now that there's something worth fighting for in my life. I have a beautiful family. A perfect boyfriend who can always make me smile and laugh or melt and cry with just a word. And his amazing, smart, adorable, funny daughter who can brighten an entire room with just a smile.

My Englewood story finally happened. Of course, the thing is, in classic Fletcher style, I did it backward. I wasn't the one who came to town in search of something better. He came to me. It figures I can't do things the conventional way, but would any of you love me if I turned into some boring, conventional, run of the mill guy who changes everything that they are just to satisfy--basically, would any of you love me if I turned into Liam?

Also, if any of you see me heading down that route, I would greatly appreciate a punch in the face and a reminder that Liam is a useless swine who loves nothing more than making other people wish they hadn't been born. Not to mention he smells like he lost a battle with a skunk, but you didn't hear that from me. I'm betting on the fact that he found out about my plot to take him down and subsequently, had something to do with my being set up. Who wants to bet against me?

Doesn't matter. He failed anyway.

You know, I called Jared the other day asking for help when I needed it, and I still haven't even gotten a text message in return? If I'm not welcome on the family compound, that's one thing, but family should help each other. It turned out that I didn't need help after all, which is great, but it would have been nice to know that, for once, I could count on the Connors family to help me out of a jam, right? This just proves to me how true my opening sentence to this actually is.

Countdown start: four days until Bernie comes home.

You'd think I was old enough to know better. At least that's what I tell myself. Old enough to know better, but too young to care, I think, some country singer said way back in the day. (As an aside, why do we use back in the day as a phrase? When was 'the day?' I'd like to know, because it seemed to be a good day, and if I ever get the chance to time travel, I'd totally go then.) Seriously, though, why couldn't things have just been simpler? History shows, folks, that I can never take the easy road. I guess it's part of my MO or something.

Seriously, though, where is my Englewood story? I've been here for eight years. Eight of them. I've seen kids come and go and get their love story right away, then run off and get married and never look back at the 'thank you for visiting Englewood' sign again. I've left and come back probably about eight hundred times over the course of my eight years here...still nothing. It's like whatever fates that entwined the likes of Ben and Corbin or Evan and Dylan, or the whole Enforcers team for that matter, decided to push me out the door, lock it and throw away the key. It'd have been nice to have a bit of notice as to the fact of this happening, but clearly, when fate decides to discriminate against you for whatever reason, it REALLY holds out it's vendetta. At least that's what seems to be happening to me.

I've been kind of wondering what my mom's up to of late. I haven't gotten my monthly call in the past month-and-a-half, and it's almost got me worried. Almost. I'd call her if I thought she'd answer the phone. But I won't risk the crushing ego blow that comes with having one's own mother dodging their calls.

Off that topic, before I go and depress myself, I had this really, really random urge to pick my guitar up and play today. And that's something I definitely haven't done in eons. But I think I'll try. It'll keep me from boredom for a little while. Maybe I'll lay down a secret track. People have used company time for far, far worse things than that, right? At least I'm not surfing porn-though I'm sure I could, as long as Liam got to mutually jack off with me. Oh God, I didn't just say that. Yes I did, who am I kidding. I think I just found my slogan. Fletcher Connors: Goes There When No One Else Will. Someone needs to make me business cards for that, because if I ever get fired from here? That could totally be my job title. 'Need the truth? Ask Fletcher, he'll tell you.' It could even be fun!

This has gotten far, far too rambly, so I think I'll just post it as is. Later folks.